“Really, it’s not you, it’s me.”

“Just tell me what I can do.”

“Nothing, honestly, we were a perfect fit in the beginning, but I’ve changed. TVs have changed. It has nothing to do with you, but I think we are through.”

“I can change.”

“I don’t know – can anyone ever really change?”

“Just give me a chance. One chance. I’ll do anything. I think you still need me.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

“The thing is, my tastes have evolved. I need something a little more sophisticated. More worldly. Maybe…darker.”

“Be honest, is there someone else?”

“It’s nothing, nothing really. We’re just friends, not even, I’ve just seen him across a room.”

“I have a dark and moody side, I’ve just never felt like I could share it with you before.”

“Oh, my. That little touch of bling is so unexpected from you. Darling, quick, hold my stuff.”

I painted this piece in the bathroom as it was far too much trouble to lug it to the basement and back up. Three cans of green beans held the trash bags in place and all the while I kept thinking corn would have been a nicer accent. There is no method to painting the piece gray first; I had gray paint handy. The gold leaf is easy-peasey; I put the sizing on before carpool and applied the leaf while I helped with spelling. It’s a piece of cake and don’t let anyone tell you differently. It is a horrendous mess.

The only image not mine, Elle Decor, design by Dransfield and Ross, photography by Simon Upton.