If a friend says, “I need to lose some weight,” while peering over either tea cup or cocktail glass, the only, only, appropriate response is, “I think you look wonderful.” If you can go on to say something like, “And who is cutting your hair, he’s an absolute genius,” all the better. No one today does not know the ins and outs of calories and fat grams and building the core. What she is asking for is reassurance, not your routine. For the love of Pete.
Image by Tom Leonard for House & Garden from The Well-Lived Life.
so wise and true.
What a treasure you are! I'm going to remember that.
Is it okay if I forward this to a few people?
It is embedded in the DNA (how I hate to admit that), that women talk to each other to sound out their hearts, to hear themselves declare their intentions and ask for backup and support. Talking to a man about this kind of thing and he'll swing into reading the smallest print of the newspaper while saying, "hmmmmm,." or, he'll want to help you along with a detailed plan of attach that comes across as unfeeling until you really understand that reptilian Y chromosome thing as being most caring, because he heard you ask for help. Another cup of tea, dear?
Brilliant.
I saw you and Rosie round the corner heading north the other day and thought you both looked supremely fit.
So, so true!! Everyone needs occasional reassurance and a little boost!
Karena
Art by Karena
Certainly true, but I wonder what prompted it. If it was you, then you certainly don't…(need to lose weight). And can I come to that garden party?
YES. Social niceties! I offered to bring food to a gathering recently, and was told – we don't want all the trouble of food, but you can bring some for yourself. uhh… that's NOT what the request meant – and that's not the proper response! Try: "thanks so much for offering, but that won't be necessary."
echo brilliant
Unfortunately,most people nowadays do not think before speaking and have no tact…..
Bravo!! So well said, Mrs. B!
David – for the record, it wasn't I. This time. But Rosie and I both thank you.
Mrs. Blandings-as one that teaches (young ones) manners/etiquette/cotillion, I will be "borrowing" from you. Brilliant advice!
Well, yes. Good manners aren't about when to wear white shoes and when not.
So wise, yes, we do need reminders to listen with our hearts (not just our ears) and respond to the deeper need.
Thanks so much for the reminder. Have a great week-end. xo Mary
Wonderful…a much needed lesson in social graces, manners & friendship.
Love the picture….
Well stated, yet again. I'm always glad to have you in my corner of the world.
If the subject was "Do I look fat?" and the person I was seeking reassurance from added "And who is cutting your hair?" I'd take that to mean: "Because he is doing a great job disguising how fat your face is."
Hello, hello, hello! I stumbled upon your blog reading up on my idol…Ina Garten! I knew I was not alone in that regard. Great posting. But you will really get your socks knocked off when I tell you about my neice's house. It was built in the 40's as a replica of the Mr. Blanding's Dreamhouse from the actual movie. Needless to say it's a fabulous house. So when I saw your blog name…well…you can well imagine! If I get a photo, I'll send it along to you. In the meantime I'll check back in on your blog regularly.
Amen to positive reassurance.
What are friends for? Loving reassurance.
x mb from Dallas
So true! Ha.
LOL. Some people just missed the boat on being tactful and tasteful!
Lila Ferraro
Queen Bedroom Sets
Mrs. Blandings, as usual, you are so right. We all need reassurance. None of us needs to know how our friends are so fabulous because they ate a piece of lettuce for breakfast and worked out for 5 hours with a trainer.
With MOTH's current serum cholesterol at record-breaking levels, I was somewhat aghast when he pondered over the weekend ' Maybe I should watch what I eat?' Doh??? Fatabulous post.
Millie ^_^
thanks for the reminder ! we all need a little reassurance now and then …