Thank you for the responses to the posts this week. I’ve chosen to end on an up note; for those of you who were interested in my relationship with my mother and had not read the essay, “Growing Up,” it is here.
I was late to Mad Men but now I am January Jonesing for the return. This post originally appeared March 11, 2009.
Maybe it’s because of this, but I’m a little weary of the straight and sleek.
Troubling times call for a little lift.
Follow my mother’s advice – you may not be able to change your life, but you can always change your hair.
A shampoo and set or some such thing. Some bounce. An errant curl to toss out of your eye.
Make sure it’s a bit of mess to show you’re not too much of a good girl. The time is right.
Image, top, January Jones and Jon Hamm from Mad Men used without permission, but much gratitude, from AMC, Ingrid Bergman, Sofia Loren, Grace Kelly and Elizabeth Taylor, all from IMDB.
I miss pretty hair — and these photos you have shown today demonstrate exactly what I miss about it.
I went back and read the post about your mother, because I missed it before. Our difficult relationships with our mothers always seem uniquely our own, until someone writes from the heart as you did. I wrote a book about my own mother, trying to make sense of it all. My last surviving aunt informed me upon reading it that she hoped I never decided to write about her. (Little does she know!)
At any rate, you are right — therapy, time, a good marriage, and a good relationship with my own son has put it all into perspective.
Mrs. B,
I too love Mad Men and after reading your posts about your relationship with your own mother, the Betsy and Sally relationship must really resonate with you. I rent the series at the end of each season and have a little Mad Men marathon. This year they added bonus material on the history of divorce, especially during that time period. Did you happen to see it?
Holly
I love the advice. Perhaps the hot rollers will make an appearance in my bath today.
I just read your 2009 post on your mother's death. You have indeed built your dream house. "Happiness is the fulfillment of a childhood dream". You have the world you needed.
Great advice–I've been needing a lift (maybe not precisely this kind) for a while. Mary
Your mother was most likely bi-polar, although not much was known about the condition at that time. My husband is bi-polar and his behavior ranges from extreme anger and mania to severe depression. I see the effect it has on our grown sons and try to help them get on with their lives and not let it get them down. It is hard not to feel guilty and be co-dependent. I am happy that you have joy and peace in your life.
I love to see different "Do's" One of my friends recently wore a french twist with a little lift in the front and looked just fabulous!
xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena
Embarrassingly, I still haven't seen Mad Men – perhaps I'll have to hulu a season before the new one starts. I've never been good at doing much with my hair – it's straight and heavy so doesn't do the messy thing very easily even though I love the look. Good luck with the scribblings.
Thanks for bringing some of your newer readers up to speed. I now understand your most recent post a lot better. I have a bit of a theory about mothers who harm their children emotionally. I sometimes believe a mother or father that feels unworthy as a human being must fulfill that image through hurtful behavior towards those that they should love the most. Did you know much about your mother's relationship with her parents? Perhaps her anger was at her own parents and she took it out on you. You are brave to post this and from the comments, I can see that it truly resonates with a lot of your readers.
I don't understand this sort of behavior. If they're able to control it, how can it be considered a disease (such as, bipolar disorder). Or, have they been coddled their entire life and expect nothing less from anyone and everyone who comes in contact with them?
Maybe I'm missing something….
OHHHH Your mother was a wise woman!
Great post!
Have a pretty day!
Kristin
Those were the days! But who would want to return to sleeping in your hair rollers? Thank God for the person who invented the hot rollers, blow dryers, and other assorted hair styling accessories Enjoyed your post!
Your mom is smart.
Thanks for sharing.
Cassy from Acoustic Guitar Lessons