Tag Archives: Musings from the Dream House

Rabbit Stew

In the last two weeks we have tackled back-to-school and readying the house to put it on the market. I ramp up quickly and unwind slowly so it has been a couple of weeks of my feeling like a high-wire performer who has had too much caffeine. I wish it were a foreign feeling; it is not. Usually, just about the time I think I might come undone, my brain starts to send out satellites to see what else we can add to the mix to really tip things over the edge.
Over a week ago, as I was talking to an incredibly interesting woman on the phone, I looked out the back door to see Rosie putting her nose on the ground then lifting it up. Touch, pull back; touch, pull back. Like a ballerina whose shoe hovers just above the stage. “Great,” I thought, “there’s something icky and dead out there and now I have to go get it before the carnage begins.”
So, still on the phone, I made my way across the yard to see what was up. There, in the dry grass was a very still furry creature. I couldn’t quite tell what it was, mole or mouse or rabbit. Rosie stood next to me, looking down at the discovery then up at me to see what I would do. I put an index finger under her collar and brought her inside so I could pick up the boys.
I filled them in on the way home and when we got back they went to investigate. “A rabbit,” they declared, “Really small, but a rabbit.” Sakes. The last thing I needed was a baby rabbit in the middle of my back yard. Later, I was off to “Curriculum Night” so I brought Mr. B up to date and was out the door.
One of my best friends is well educated in wildlife. She amazes my children by picking up turtles and frogs and most things furry. She recently filled me in on chicken sex, but that is another story for another day. She mentioned that the nest was probably very nearby. “I don’t think so. It’s right in the middle of the yard.”
When I got home Mr. Blandings and I went out with a flash light and our rabbit was where we had left him. With a bit of poking around we found the nest was, indeed, just a few inches away, nearly directly in the center of our backyard. And, naturally, our new friend had siblings. Three. “What a dumb bunny. What in the world was she thinking? And he must have been quite a dashing hare to have swept her off her feet so late in the season.” We sort of nudged the loner back into the nest and went inside.
“I really don’t know how I’m going to keep Rosie away from them.”
“I was thinking I’d put up a little fence.” Pause. And a beat.
“You kill things.”
“What?”
“You kill things. You’re kidding me that you are going to create a wildlife perserve in the middle of our backyard.”
And the mighty hunter indignantly declared, “I don’t kill infants.”
The next day began with tragedy. Our friend from the day before had been evicted from the nest again and had passed in the night. It was a speedy service; we did not tell the boys. When they left for school I purchased some wire fencing and had a chat with my old friend the internet. As it turns out, our bunny was not so dumb. Rabbits nest in the open because their predators are less likely to hunt there. Also, rabbit mommies are not nearly as high strung as I. They do not fret over homework and transitions and the amount of sleep their darlings are getting. They nurse their babies about five minutes a day, usually at night. So basically they deliver their children into a shallow den in the middle of the open and kick some grass and fur over them and come back to check every twenty-four hours or so.
The fence, of course, did not keep out the curious Boxer. I looked out a couple of times to see her looking back at me with rabbit fur on her muzzle. It was not the fur of the young, but the camouflage of the mother; the bunnies were fine. I rolled a wheelbarrow into the yard and tipped it upside down over the nest, propping it on bricks so their mother could drop in if she felt like it. The boys sprang to Rosie’s defense, “She doesn’t want to eat them,” they declared, incredulous that their pal had been labeled a potential mass murderer, “She’s protecting them.”
“Really? You think so? That seems a little inconsistent with canine instinct.”
“She’s seen you taking care of them, so she is taking care of them, too.” Maybe.
We checked every day, lifting the wheelbarrow and pushing aside the dry grass and hair. As their cover began to stir they would jump slightly like the pulse of a heart. I can’t say they welcomed our intrusions, but they allowed the petting and cooing, turning their faces to the side of the den employing the strategy of human toddlers, “If we can’t see them, they can’t see us.” We referred to each as “he,” “him” and “his brother” because it is all we know. They were significantly bigger every day.
Then, about a week into our ministrations, when we lifted the wheelbarrow, one hopped out of the nest. He didn’t go far and my middle son corralled him back in. That night we saw another in the yard. The next morning they were gone.
We haven’t seen them since, dead or alive, and as the boys liked to imagine Rosie the Great Protector, I like to imagine they are happily munching the landscaping of my neighbors and making plans for their own litters in the Spring. I like to think those bunnies made it despite the odds and that sometimes cute and fluffy prevails over hard and sharp. I like to think that sometimes things work out.
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Off the Rack

My flight home from New York was delayed (setting my mind on a skitterish path of worry and fret) the upside being that I was able to read the entire issue of the New Yorker cover to cover. Gluttonous feast for someone who is usually confined to grabbing an article here or snacking in the carpool line. There, on pages that seem like onion skin compared to the shelter magazines, was Agatha Christie. Yet when I first turned the page I thought for a moment that I was looking in an enchanted mirror. Needlepoint shoes, rings stacked knuckle-to-knuckle, watch on a thick black strap and, yes, beads. The swollen ankles will likely be mine as well as they surely resembled this during each pregnancy. The only unlikelihood being the hair; I fear I will always be putting off the gray for “next year.”

Also, this. Jail cell? Secret al Qaeda operative headquarters? Nope. This is where Jonathan Franzen writes. And writes well. He’s removed all distraction from the room (I’ll say) and all hope of connection to the internet from his computer. I have ordered my copy of Freedom. And will wait, somewhat impatiently, for its release next week. You can read the Time profile here.
Image, top, the New Yorker, August 16th & 23rd, 2010; photography by Lord Snowdon. Image, last, Time, August 23, 2010; photography by Dan Winters.
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I Say “City,” You Say…

Here are the results of yesterday’s Eat Pray Love word association:


Aspen – Crisp

Atlanta – Reinvention
Austin – Hippie
Boston – History
Charlotte – Hot
Chicago – Neighborhood, Corrupt
Cleveland – Proud
Dallas – Manicured*
Ft. Scott – History
Geneva – Anomaly
Houston – Diversity
Indianapolis – Bland
Jacksonville – Comfort
Kansas City – Melange, Moribund, Home, Authenticity, Solid
Kentucky – Fried Chicken
Lawrence – Basketball, Hotmess
Little Rock – Natural
London – Eccentric
Maine – Lobster
New Orleans – Pleasure
New York – Go, Assertive
North Carolina
Marceline – Home
Minneapolis – Do
Minnesota – 6 mo. Vibrant/6 mo. Glacial
Paris – Grumpy
Philadelphia – Strive, Home
Pittsburgh – Ritual
Portland – Progressive
Queens – Hope
Rome – Passionate
Sacramento – Endearing
Salt Lake City – Industrious
San Francisco – Cool, Progressive, Weird, Self Righteous
Savanna – Yummy
Toronto – Self Conscious
Venice – Shimmer
Washington D.C. – Childish, Unimaginative, Ambition
* I’ve spent a good little bit of time in Dallas and this was a favorite.
Image from the movie Eat Pray Love; Production Design by Bill Groom with Set Decoration by Andrew Baseman, Raffaella Giovannetti and Letizia Santucci.
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Word Association


Back in 2007 when I read Eat Pray Love I did a post about one word associations with cities we know. At the time I wrote, “… one of the things that intrigued me (about the book) was a concept the author introduced in the “eat” section, while she was in Rome. Her friend tells her you cannot live in a city if you are not in sync with it’s “word.” He tells her that each city has one word that describes it. He claims Rome’s is the big s-e-x; she defines New York by ‘achieve.'”
With the release of the movie, and now that I have more than twelve readers, I thought it might be fun to play again. In 2007 I chose “tradition” for Kansas City; you can see other folks feedback here. I’ll post your words tomorrow.
Image from the movie Eat Pray Love; Production Design by Bill Groom with Set Decoration by Andrew Baseman, Raffaella Giovannetti and Letizia Santucci.
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On Blogging

I’ve been painting. Not painting like Rembrandt, painting like Jerry the painter. But I’m not as good as Jerry. I started painting before we left for vacation and I picked up the brush again when we returned. We are thinking of selling our house and the walk through with our agent revealed, well, neglect. Not the crashing, horrible neglect of, say, Gray Gardens, but neglect nonetheless. A few missing spindles. Chipped radiators. The sort of stuff you notice when it happens and two years later it is still there.
So, I’ve been painting. I like to paint because, as is true of most of the other things I like to do, it allows me to do something while I’m over-thinking so I don’t have to believe that I am indulging my neuroses. I’ve thought about selling the house and moving and where my oldest is going to go to high school and when the economy is going to turn around and the oil spill and, “how am I going to tell my blog readers that I am thinking of selling a house that is so much a part of our family?”
And the last bit led to thinking about blogging. It’s a strange line of thinking, isn’t it, to wonder what people whom you’ve never met will think of your selling your house? Or why they’d care. Very soon our family will mark several milestones. I will turn 45, we will celebrate our tenth anniversary in this house, the boys will put on party hats and have a dog party for Rosie’s 4th birthday and I will note that I have been blogging for three years. All of these things have brought mostly good. And a little not so good. My sisal rug can attest.
Blogging is funny business. I have connected with many wonderful people through Mrs. Blandings. When I christened the blog one of my friends called and said, “It’s perfect; I can’t believe it wasn’t already taken.” I’ve also been called “bland” both here and on other people’s blogs which is a derivative that I wouldn’t have anticipated. Once, I had the giddy pleasure of having a well-known designer say, “Oh! I read your blog,” when we met in New York. I’ve also had someone crucify my home, my Thanksgiving table and my pumpkin pie on the internet. Mostly good. A little not so good.
Recently, I wrote a post about our trip and I had Mr. Blandings read it before I posted. Generally, if something pertains to him I give him a look-see before I publish it. He censored me. He was worried what people would think. And I held it back, but I resented it. I like to think the blog is all mine. But it isn’t really. It’s out there in the open.
I can tell when someone reads it as our conversations tend to start mid-subject, “Oh my goodness, isn’t Utah amazing? We went for my brother’s wedding a few years ago,” while other people are standing by with puzzled looks wondering who mentioned Utah. At the same time, people often feel the need to tell me they don’t read it. “How’s your website thing going?” “Uh, fine.” “I mean, I don’t read it. You know. Well, I’m just not interested in that kind of thing.” Which is dandy, I don’t care if someone reads it, but I think the need to mention it is amusing. I don’t say, “How are things at work? I’m so sorry, but we don’t use your law firm,” or, “I heard you took up bridge. I haven’t; I fear it would be a crushing bore.” (Plus, with bridge I think there is some math and who would want to do that for fun?)
It takes a certain hubris to go on-line. As my friend asked when I announced that I was starting a blog, “Do you really think you have something to say?” I realized that yes, I must think that I do. That is boastful. Not quite as boastful as thinking you can lead the free world, but something. This is one of the reasons I continue to allow the anonymous commenters. I am not quite comfortable in the situation in which I’ve placed myself. And I’m certainly not going to eliminate the avenue that allows someone to tell me my feet are made of clay. Indeed they are. I know; I crafted them myself. (The other reason is because sometimes they correct my spelling, and heaven knows I need that.)
Some people receive the blog through email and that leads to its own surprises. Readers occasionally think they are forwarding and accidentally hit “reply.” One day I received an automated reply to a morning’s post that a magazine editor, whom I very much respect, was out of the office. I can’t tell you that doesn’t change things. It changes things. I also received a reply from the post I wrote about going to California to sit on the Elle Decor panel that was so cruel it made me gasp. That changed things, too. Mostly good. A little not so good.
It is a public forum. I’ve taken heat for being bland, and nice, which has been translated as not being honest or real. I post what I like. There are several publicists and authors and designers who will tell you that I don’t post what I don’t like. But I don’t usually feel the need to announce that I don’t like something. I’m editing. It’s not dishonesty or that I’m trying to get something, I’d just rather not bash someone in public. It’s a public forum. I might think the woman standing next to me in the check-out line has a tragic haircut. And maybe bad pants. And I might say something to one of my friends about it later. But I do not turn to the woman in the check-out line and say, “Sister, your hair is disaster and your pants are a train wreck.” And I certainly don’t post it on the internet. Would it be honest? Perhaps. But it wouldn’t make me more clever or honest or real. It would just make me rude.
Along those lines, another blogger recently raised the issue of voice. Generally, I’m more interested in a blogger’s point of view than his or her voice. I write like I talk. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I do and you may not believe it, but I don’t give a darn. Which is the only dishonesty, by the way. In person, my language is salty; on-line it is not. It’s a public forum.
Mrs. Blandings has brought me incredible opportunities. I mentioned to a friend recently that I am going to do some freelancing for the Chicago Tribune and his mouth fell open. “That’s amazing. I don’t mean this in a bad way, but there are people who have been writing their whole careers who wouldn’t even dream of writing for the Tribune.” I know. I can’t believe it myself. It’s because of the blog. The flip side is a meeting I had with an executive of an organization that I have worked with for twelve years; I have gone in with concerns twice. At one point she said, “Perhaps you have to consider this isn’t the right place for you,” and shortly after that she mentioned a post I had written that had rubbed her the wrong way. That is because of the blog, too. Mostly good. A little not so good.
I started Mrs. Blandings on a lark. Things worked out. I wasn’t “building a brand” or “leveraging social media” and frankly that whole concept makes me mentally gag a little. I’m aware of my numbers. I check them less than I used to. (Which isn’t hard as I used to check them about every two hours.) They are pretty steady. Really, it’s irrelevant. Honestly, when I’m writing, I aware of the dozen or so people with whom I communicate regularly.
And, so, today, I’m just letting you know that we’re thinking about putting our house on the market. Which could be good. Or a little not so good.
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